I love unity pieces in wedding ceremonies. Symbolizing our lives is a great way to think about where we are now, where we will go in the future, and who we might become. Though, I don’t like unity pieces just for the sake of them.

If you’re working with me and pitch me a unity piece that really doesn’t fit with anything we’ve talked about, I’m going to tell you honestly. For example, if you don’t like going to the beach, why on earth would we add a sand pouring unity to your ceremony? You should not include any unity element solely to kill time. There are plenty of ways to make your wedding ceremony unique without creating some cheesy metaphor to signify your love.

So, how do you go about developing a unity ceremony that truly belongs to you?

Here are the 5 elements I consider when brainstorming unity pieces with couples.

Photo Credit: Rubinski Works

3.

Will this be something you want to keep?

Don’t do a unity ceremony just to live up to the customs of a unity ceremony. If you’re not really interested in keeping that vase of sand after, then don’t do a sand unity! Maybe a unity ceremony really isn’t the thing for you. Maybe you’re a minimalist. Maybe you just aren’t symbolic people. You don’t need a unity ceremony to make a wedding ceremony. You just need the two of you. And if you’re totally down for a unity ceremony, think of items you would love to have after your wedding day.

4.

Do you want to include anyone in the unity?

If you have children, this is a great way to blend them into your ceremony easily. Or maybe you really want to include your parents. If you’d like to include anyone else in addition to the two of you, you’ll want to brainstorm additional elements that can create an action in the unity ceremony.

5.

How much time do you have to devote to a unity piece?

A unity piece always includes a physical element. If you’re cramming for time, throwing together a unity piece isn’t a good idea. If you’ve got time to shop around or DIY your own symbolic element, then heck, go for it!

Photo Credit: Elena Stanton

Hopefully, this gets your mind thinking about unity pieces. As with everything else in the ceremony, the most important part is that you two are present and engaged. You don’t need this to make your marriage, so, if you’re going to add a unity piece, ensure that it completely represents the both of you!

Have your unity piece ready and need some help with other elements of your ceremony? Check out our post here for some really useful tips for writing your wedding vows.